Fall in love during the teenager period sucks

Falling in love is a very terrible feeling. Having a crush on other girls are not that terrible too. There is this girl i have been loving her. That feeling we all know. That special feeling. Recently, i had stopped talking to her all these shit. I had started avoiding her. I do not wish to give myself false hope. Why? I told myself that she will not like me lah. I know it all along. But i never gaveup. Recently, there is this very bad news i heard from my friend. This girl actually talk shit about me behind me. At that moment, I was blanked out. I actually treated her so good yet this things still happens. The next following daym she texted me asking me if i am alright. All i can do was to give her cold replies. Ouch, so heartbreaking to hear that. But well? things like this happens lot of times. I am wondering right now, whether this girl i love had been using me all these time? I do not know. I am really scared of this society. Everywhere, everytime i am being used. That just shows how stupid am i. To be honest, i am regularly asking myself whether I belong to this era? Love all these shit. Being together is just fate. I can understand if i am just having an one sided love. But i could not understand why girls are always like this? Does she truly treat me as a friend or just a puppet or a toy for her? I do not want to have the feeling that i am just a toy. When needed me, call and ask help from me. When do not need me, just dump me aside. I DO NOT WANT ALL THESE!!!! Maybe, is time for me to give up. It hurts but what can i do? Waiting for her to use me again? Let's just put it aside at the moment. O level first. In future, no more letting people of using me. 9 more days to go!!!